I just got one of those life-changing phone calls. More details to come!
Today,
May 15
The Waiting Place
May 14
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behindSimple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place …The Waiting Place …
… for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
Seuss, Dr., “Oh! The Places You’ll Go”.
Words “for such a time as this” Esther 4:14. Still waiting for the race to begin. It’s creeping up on me, but it’s not here yet. Can someone pull the trigger already?
Correct Procedure?
May 14
Notice: You are $942 short on your rent. You have three days to pay or quit the lease and be evicted. Dated 5/6/08. Posted 5/7/08.
Clay to Kevin: Hey, Kev, we got this notice that we owe like $1000 on the rent or we have to move out.
Kevin: Huh? No way. I had the check mailed out of Bank of America’s Bill Pay and due to be delivered by 4/29/08 for the whole rent. That’s 2 days early.
Clay: Well, that’s what it says.
Kevin to Harry Stupiwitz, Property Manager, voice mail: Hi, I’m Kevin and I live on one of your properties. I show a check for the full rent paid to you two days early. I’m not sure why I got a pay-or-quit notice. Please let me know what we can do.
[The next day, 5 minutes after the open of buisness]
Kevin to Harry Stupiwitz: Hi. Can you help me understand why I had this check sent out to you for the full amount and I got credited some random amount ($765). It looks like someone randomly brushed against the keyboard.
Stupiwitz: Oh, you’re the one we’ve been getting all these calls about. BofA has called us like 10 times today. Well, our bookkeeper is out for the next 6 days. So, there’s not much we can do right now.
Kevin: I’m just concerned that this notice says we have 3 days to resolve this. It was dated the day before it was posted. I’d really like an answer now.
Stupiwitz: Well, I guess I’ll research this and see what I can find.
[5 hours pass]
Stupiwitz: We can’t find your check. I spoke with B of A and we won’t charge you the late fee if they have to reissue the check. We’ll wait until Tuesday, when the accountant is in, to sort this matter out.
[2 hours pass]
Stupiwitz: We found your check. You’re good. Sorry.
Kevin: Well, I did pay this on time and I was harassed and embarrassed by this poor quality control process. Can I get a month free or reduced rent for dealing with all this?
Stupiwitz: No, that’s not something we allow for under the terms of your lease.
That’s a Lot of Look
May 14
Thought you’d like to know you’re a hot tranny mess.
In order to comply with various “laws” and “regulations” and really, really outstanding random acronyms, everything on this blog should be considered fiction’s imagination. Resemblance to anyone or anything means that you have a great fantasy life. Some may say that they “know with their heart” that this simply isn’t so. They just don’t live in the land of “facts”, and neither does Steven Colbert.
lmnop=look man, not our problem
Correct procedure?
May 13
Coach (at league champs): I want to get the lead-off split for my swimmer in the relay.
Meet Manager: Sure, which relay was it?
Coach: Relay X
Manager: Ok, this is the time for Swimmer Y.
Coach: That’s the wrong swimmer. Swimmer Z swam first.
Manager: You know that your swimmers need to swim in the order listed on the relay card or they’re disqualified, right?
Coach: What are you talking about? None of my swimmers swam in the order listed on the card.
Manager: I didn’t hear what you just said, otherwise I’d have to disqualify all of your relays.
Coach to Referee: I had my students do the entry cards, so they put the wrong order on each of the relays. So, none of my swimmers swam in the relay card order.
Referee: That’s ok, we’ll let it go. It’s not really that big a deal.
The rule:
For submitting an entry card which is incomplete, inaccurate or delivered late, the competitor or relay team shall be disqualified from that event.
PS This actually happened this season!
Correct Procedure?
May 12
At a league championship meet, an official gives swimmers the “Take Your Mark” command. All swimmers take position, and then Lane 8 jumps big time. The starter asks the swimmers to “Stand” and then speaks over the loud speaker “Lane 8, were we in a hurry?” The starter then restarts the race and does not disqualify Lane 8.
PS This actually happened this season!
TYM Logo
May 12
It’s my own mashup from a few pictures that I found on Flickr. I’m learning Photoshop… maybe it’ll get cooler soon…
Welcome to TYM
May 9
Welcome to my latest iteration of blogging. The last several years have been calm and uneventful. But, I just heard the whistle blasts signaling a new race. The announcer announces the racer. A long whistle sounds and I step on the blocks. The starter says, “Take your mark.”
There I am. In that split second between holding my mark and exploding into a new race.