Most people receive the news of my new job with excitement for the opportunity but sadness at the loss of a friendship. One of those conversations had a distinctly different flavor. When Chris found out, the look on his face was as if a boxer had given him an unsuspecting upper cut to the jaw. It really hit me hard too. We have been classmates, worked on the same research projects, and some of the movers and shakers of the department. We’d traveled to awful places like Detroit and places like Boston the few days before finals to present research. We’d suffered lots of the same departmental shenanigans. We have also had lots of fun. We TA’d together and amassed countless stories of our undergrads… sweet, sad, funny, mind-bottling. Planning departmental parties for Christmas (Winter), Chinese New Year, etc.
We have a lot of history together. And it seems that this news was just another one of those punches-in-the-face moments that we’d become used to in grad school. Maybe it knocked a little more air out to hear that a close colleague is dropping out (or moving on to better things) while Chris was still there, chugging along, with a little less support.